Testing the new gadget.

I decided to get myself a camera (yeah after 4 years living here now i decided to get one). I thought to myself I don't usually have much to say so why not just post up photos of different stuff. For instance this blog will be dedicated shots i took as I learn how to use this new gadget. I'll attempt to explain why this particular photos were posted.Here we go!

Four years living here and I still don't know the names of the major highways.

But the instructions are simple as you can see below (go straight to Damansara Utama DU)

A few meters down you then make a left turn! (Simple instructions)

Other Random Stuff

I just realized this sign that was posted in the elevators at my apartments. Just a thought what if a person doesn't have credit or maybe even a phone to make that call then what? (I am sure some of you are thinking "die lah")

My mate went to UK and all he got me was this freaking key chain(not that i am complaining) Its just that I saw someone in the bus today wearing a T-shirt that had that particular line written on it.

This was taken at around 4 am. I've been having trouble sleeping of late. I've tried everything but alas nothing seems to work.(anybody with a remedy that works holla)

This place has been a life saver.Especially those days you need the necessary supplies and its 3am. You just run to the store and purchase it!(For those that don't know what this is, it's 711 a store that is opened 24/7)

Wrapping up a good day taking photos of sh*t that doesn't make sense. Hopefully the next post will make more sense. (its good to hope right?) Until the next blog post enjoy the sunset!

Strip Club Wars: Excerpt from a Jimmy Carr show.

(Image from Quarehawk.com)

I woke up today feeling rather pleasant and I felt that some funny stuff should be shared with you guys. I figure why not do something that would cheer people up this being a Monday and I know how people dread the beginning of the week (I don't) but for you guys out there here is something small.

This particular poem was done by the comedian Jimmy Carr (if you don't know who he is, Google him!) . He recited it during one of his shows (I can't remember which one though). The title of the poem is "Strip Club wars". Enjoy your read (whoever reads this and understands it I salute you)

Young men getting slaughtered, Bazookas everywhere

Privates standing to attention, grabbing their helmets, weapons going off

Sobbing men desperately clawing at gashes as bodily fluids dribble out

Sweethearts back at home wondering whether they are ever gona see you again

The number of stiffs growing by the hour

Freshly shaven tw*ts shooting at anything with a beard

And regretting they’d come

The next generation spilling out of choppers onto hot baron mounts

Its more expensive than you think it’ll be when you go in and the whole thing will leave a mess that takes years to clean up

I blame Bush!

Some words of Wisdom. NOT!!!

As i mentioned in my first blog i am crazy about stand up comedy. Here is something interesting one of the greatest comedians ever (i believe) said in one of his shows. If you don't know who the person pictured above is then i don't know how to help you.(Sijui nikusaidiaje) You can give Google a try, maybe you can get the answer from there.

OK enough with the nonsense here is an excerpt taken from the beginning of one of his shows in 2005 called Life is worth losing.I thought the way he started the show was amazing therefore for the people that don't know him here is a sample of his work. Enjoy!

(Just a heads up, some of you will find this offensive so please stop reading this if you get easily offended)

I'm a modern man. A man for the millenium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high tech lo-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I'm new wave but I'm old school and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hotwired, heatseaking, warmhearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, and pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary. A streetwise smartbomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties; I tell power lies; I take power naps; I take victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot, slamdunk rain maker with a pro-active outreach, a raging workaholic, a working rage-a-holic, out of rehab and in denial.

I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal angenda. You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down, cause I'm tireless and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I'm a non-believer and an overacheiver, laid-back but fashion foward, up front, down home, low rent, high mantinence, supersize, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last. I'm a hands on, footloose, knee-jerk headcase, prematurely postraumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

But I'm feeling; I'm caring; I'm healing; I'm sharing; a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk-mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk bonds; I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, captial intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore; no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought a minivan at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes; a fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I'm a rude dude but I'm the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow; I go with the flow; I ride with the tide; I got glide in my stride; driving and moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunchtime is crunchtime. I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt, and I'm hanging tough, over and out.

For those that managed to get to the end of this short excerpt of George Carlin's (yeah thats his name) work, i hope you enjoyed his words of "wisdom" courtesy of one of the funniest people to have ever lived. Till next time goodnight!

Durians!! Bloody Durians!!

Many (especially my Malaysian friends) would be wondering why i would bother talking about this fruit let alone dedicate a blog to durian. This is because one of my neighbor's has been consuming it for the past couple of weeks. For the people that don't know what durian is i am sure you are wondering what is the big deal with some dude eating some fruit somewhere in the apartment? and how did i know? Well the reason for writing this blog is to answer this questions.

Durian is a fruit found mostly in South East Asia and is usually known as the "King of Fruits".If you want to see how it looks like you can find a picture here. This particular fruit is special for one thing and one thing only its unique aroma. For those that were wondering how i could tell if my neighbors were having this fruit well its thanks to its smell. This fruit has a smell that lets just say if you are not used to it you can find it a bit off putting. To some people this is the worst thing they have ever smelt.Its smells so bad that the raw fruit is forbidden from some establishments such as hotels, subways and airports.You can find these signs at the entrances of hotels warning guests that durians aren't allowed in the premises. Here is a video showing how bad the fruit smells like.

Andrew Zimmerman the host of the show "Bizarre Foods" once tried this fruit and couldn't hack it or as the people in malaysia say he couldn't tahan it. Let me put this in perspective for you my readers Andrew Zimmerman is a man who goes all over the world eating all sort of weird stuff he has a saying that goes like this "If it looks good, eat it!". This same guy was unable to take the smell of this particular fruit. Richard Sterling a travel food writer says..... its odor is best described as pig shit, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. You can smell it from yards away."

So by now most of you are wondering why would people even go near this fruit if it has such a bad smell. Well that was my reaction when i first encountered the "King of Fruits". But i have to be honest at first the smell can be overwhelming but once you get past the smell you will find that its the best fruit ever. The smooth creamy texture (like a custard) is what makes the fruit taste oh so good. (thinking about it makes me want to have some) Other that its great taste the Javanese people believe the fruit has aphrodisiac qualities there is a saying in Indonesia durian jatuh sarung naik, meaning "the durians fall and the sarong comes up" refers to this belief.

So to some people the smell emitted from the fruit is regarded as fragrant (i happen to be one of those people) while other people find the aroma overpowering and offensive. For those that have never tried it before i urge them give it a try who knows you might just like it.

Well what do you know its post number 2!! Na hiyo ni maendeleo!

Finally started!!

Here we go!

So i decided to start blogging due to the lots of free time i have on my hands. This is the first blog i am ever writing (rather obvious huh!) and it could be the last one who knows, we just have to see how things go on.

I spend most of my waking hours online doing a lot of stuff usually reading and source lots of the stuff that i know (makes me look smart in cocktail parties )from the net. Some of this stories tend to be frustrating and i need a platform to rant and b*tch about anything and everything. The angry outbursts will more often involve F1 and football (NOT SOCCER) news. Then there is politics (yuck!) then there stuff like racism (yeah that sh*t still exists in 2010 and i don't think it will ever go anywhere) I tried having these outburst on twitter but this 140 character limit doesn't give me enough words to convey my ideas.

Apart from the occasional angry outburst i will also share with the world my hobby and no its not porn its actually stand up comedy. I will use this blog to talk about anything and everything to do with comedy. From the likes of George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Katt Williams, Marx brothers, Jimmy Carr and many many many more. And yes their jokes will be mentioned ( i am sure you were thinking of that) you don't need to worry some of their famous jokes will be highlighted!

Ok so these are the some of the stuff i'll be talking about in the blog. I just hope i wouldn't get bored with this blogging business because i have tonnes to talk about.